utter chaos (random poems written on a Monday…ish)

1.

there is coffee on my breath

like sticky gum stuck underneath the table

It is lingering and waiting for a lick

like forgotten roses an a windowsill from your ex lover waiting for the bin and the memory to fade.

there is utter chaos.

2.

If I pull hard enough I might unravel

I am one seam away from being undone and spilling over

If I clench my teeth any harder the pain might travel through the rest of my body and cause me to still.

There is utter chaos.

3.

What is a man-

That you oh Sovereign God would consider him worthy of flesh and bone

That this flesh might tear when it is struck

And these bones might die when they are still

What is me

That my body is here and my mind is with You.

What is me on earth

That my body is flesh

And my spirit is free.

There is utter chaos.

4.

Smoke is to fire what water is to the sea

A small sign of something bigger

A small pleasure of something hidden

Seen or unseen

Heard like whispers

Silent like night

The chaos brews

And in the morning it is full

And we are drunk.

There is utter chaos.

5.

When I am empty

Rolling around and full of emptiness

Let the ground buried around my bones whisper about my scent.

There is utter chaos.

6.

Lay yourself bare and put your thoughts on me like memories you want to return to. Speak to me like the words will stick to my skin and I will wake up with ink on the sheets and you will read them like a book. And we will know that here, was a body that laid bare and the people knew the body was still yet full of poetry.

There is utter chaos.

7.

In the conversations that we have had.

In the laughs we steal from each other when your memory unveils itself like a lost recording.

We are always remembering and learning to live without. Like we are trying to make sense of the emptiness and slowly the emptiness is no longer loud. It is here and cannot be replaced but it no longer lives in every room of our houses and it no longer loudly opens the door to let sadness sit on our hearts.

There is utter chaos

There is us.